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Another comment Toy Soldier posted: While Clarisse may be genuinely concerned with discussing masculinity, it is clear that she is not particularly open to actually doing that because it would require her to dial back her political views and the issues on men’s terms.
For example.) In her post “Healing My Broken Feminist Heart”, Audacia Ray talks about how much it hurts to identify as a feminist and yet be told, often, that the way you realize your personal sexuality is unfeminist; I’ve been meaning to write a response to that post for ages, because boy do I know how that feels. I want to be her when I grow up.) I am Chicago-based in that I lived there for years before I moved here to Africa in order to work in HIV/AIDS mitigation, and I suspect I’ll move back there when my contract ends.
In Chicago, I lectured on BDSM and sexual communication, and I created and curated a fabulous sex-positive film series and discussion group that it broke my heart to leave.
In late October I posted a three-part series under the title “Questions I’d Like To Ask Entitled Cis Het Men” (Part 1: Who Cares? These posts kicked up more of a furor than I anticipated, with a bunch of cross-postings and responses on other blogs.* It all gave me a huge number of new perspectives to synthesize, which is part of why it took me so long to post this followup … I really want this followup to be readable to people who didn’t bother with the initial three posts, so please let me know if I fail!
Introducing myself, and One Correction Please allow me to introduce myself.
In that segment, my language became especially strong: I did things like refer to men as The Oppressive Class, for instance. And so I strengthened my “nearly-militant, obviously feminist” tone, in an effort to make up for that: to make it clear that I’m still part of the fold — a feminist arguing in feminists’ interests. I agree with Toy Soldier that this may not have been the best tactic.
In part this was meant as mild irony on my part, but in part it was also because my intended audience was feminists**** and I knew that feminists might take some of the things I was saying badly. In general, I try to support debating as charitably and with as reasonable a tone as possible, which is something I did not succeed at in Part 3.There is of course my agenda (shared by almost every human alive) of “convincing people to agree with me” and “getting people to join my cool club or at least admire it from afar”, but I don’t personally have any pressing Grand Policy Goals.One commenter who went by Sailorman over at Alas said, on the third post: I read this thread with interest, but it is of course basically a very extended and well written TPHMT argument?But what’s especially pernicious about male privilege is that every aspect of female privilege can be trumped by male privilege.The classic example of this is that yes, I can gain “privilege” by dressing to look hot, but that “power” can instantly be taken away by a man who decides to call me a slut.Here’s a comment from Richard Jeffrey Newman at Alas: I confess that, as a man whom I imagine most people would probably define as normative — at least according to the criteria Clarisse has been using in her series — I have trouble with the premise of this question. Do I think feminist discourse is always accurate in the way it speaks about men?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating